One Great Love VS One True Love

Sa buhay pag-ibig mo, sa dami ng dumaang lalaki sa buhay mo, mayroon kang dalawang klaseng lalaking hindi mo makakalimutan o ayaw mong alalahanin.

Ang iyong One Great Love at ang iyong One True Love.

Kung sa tanan naman ng buhay mo isa lang ang minahal mong lalaki maliban sa tatay mo o lolo mo, maswerte ka na kung isang lalaki lang 'yang great at true love mo.

Bibihira ang ganung kaso. Lalo na kung malandi ka at kung ma-in love ka ay parang wala ng bukas. Kung buwis buhay ka tuwing naiinlove.

Malamang nagbbrowse na kayo pababa kung ano ba pinagkaiba ng dalawa. Atat ka sipain kita e!

Chill lang.

ONE GREAT LOVE

Usually, ito yung lalaking unang nakaramdam ng pagmamahal mo. Ito yung kahit gaguhin ka, kapit ka pa din. Yung lalaking naiisip mo pa din, paano kung kayo pa? Ano kaya nangyari? O kaya deep inside curious ka pa din kung naiisip ka pa niya.

Kadalasan, ito yung first love mo. Not necessarily first boyfriend.

Siya yung lalaking nagpatibok ng bongga sa puso mo at nagwasak din ng bongga. Madami kang nagawang pagkakamali o katangahan sa relasyon na ito at dito nanggaling ang karamihan ng iyong precautions pagdating sa pagibig. Marami kang natutunan.

Siya ang nagturo sayo kung paano magmahal.


ONE TRUE LOVE

True --- meaning totoo.

Ito yung lalaking nagparamdam sayo ng tunay na pagibig. Dahil medyo natuto ka na sa larangan ng pagibig, alam mo na kung ano dapat ang gawin at hindi dapat gawin sa ibang aspeto. So may konting wall ka na kailangan niyang tibagin

Pero hindi lang naman ito one-way relationship. Kumbaga, medyo loving wisely na ang ginagawa mo. Medyo may utak na ang relasyon. Iniisip mo na kung ano ba future niyo together. So medyo hindi na me-against the world ang drama.

Siya ang nagturo sayo kung paano mahalin.




Sa mga kaibigan ko, kapag nakausap ko sila about sa lovelife nila, madali ko naiidentify kung sino ang One Great Love nila at ang One True Love nila.

Sa mga lalaki, 'wag kang maoffend kung hindi ikaw yung pareho. Walang bias 'yan. Depende kasi 'yan sa pagtrato ng lalaki sa babae. Pero I suggest, aim to be both.

Para rare.

Keeping the Dating Database

We all have a list of contacts entirely made up of past suitors or love interests. Either you had a thing, almost had one, people you've dated for the mere fun of it or friends you've considered dating.

Our thesis mentor during college once told us something entirely unrelated to our thesis. He advised us to keep the dating database intact and available. The reason was unclear because we had very limited consultation time with him and we had to use it wisely.

Infairness, nakakaloka yung advice niya. Pero may point.

I think importanteng mag-maintain ng platonic relationship with past love interests.

Mayroon naman advantages ang pagtago ng database ng mga nanligaw sa iyo.

Anu-ano nga ba ito?

1. This means business

All work, no play. Lalo na kapag nasa relasyon ka. Malay mo yumaman yung dating nanligaw sayo at nagttrabaho ka bilang marketing or advertising chuchuness tapos kailanganin mo ang business niya. Or kung sa pinagttrabahuhan niya, may relevance sa current job mo. Or basta kahit anong situation na kailangan mo ng network niya. Iba pa din ang malaki ang network. Lalo na yung may na-establish ng trust between the two of you. Mas madali. But make sure it's purely business. No landian involved.

Pero kahit papaano, piliin mo rin kung sino sa listahan mo ang lalapitan mo. Yung iba baka bitter sayo dahil binasted mo, siraan ka pa. Evaluate mo muna ang situation.

2. In case of emergencies

Walang relasyon na maaassure mong forever kayo ng partner mo. Kapag meron kang database ng mga nilandi mo dati, at least kapag naging single ka, may "magcocomfort" agad sayo. (dahil may hidden agenda ang "comforting words" nila and you can use it to your advantage) It's less depressing to be single na maraming suitors kesa sa wala. Para naman hindi ka back to zero. Kasi yung iba diyan sa listahan mo, abangers 'yan.

Inaabangan ka lang maging single ulit.

It's not cheating kung tinatago mo lang yung contacts. Malay mo, as I've said sa unang advantage, kailanganin mo siya for business or career opportunities.

Stagnant lang siya habang nasa relationship ka. Respeto na rin sa karelasyon mo.

3. For viewing purposes only

Para lang madami kang kunyari na contacts. Kunyari sikat. Chos! Ganda mo e!

When you're trying to help out a friend and you recommend one of your "contacts" to them, you can easily give it out. Wala lang. For networking pa din.


Ang paggamit ng database ay depende sa naging relasyon niyo ng mga taong nakalista at kung paano mo gagamitin to your advantage. Hindi ko siya nirerecommend for kalandian purposes 'pag may syota.


Please use it wisely.

MS MANDALUYONG 2013: Beyond physical beauty

Here’s the thing about a beautiful body and face --- IT’S SUBJECTIVE AND SUPERFICIAL.

You will never be beautiful to everyone. I had to realize it in a drastic way.

A BEAUTY PAGEANT.

I recently joined a pageant. Probably one of the most prestigious pageants in the country but considered as a small scale pageant in terms of scope but big in terms of prizes.

Ms. Mandaluyong 2013.

When I joined, I had a 32-inch waistline 3 days before the screening.  Not your typical beauty-pageant-joining-kind of body, right? Luckily, I lost a little bit of weight during the screening but they advised me to lose more. You can't blame their subjectivity because it was in fact, a beauty pageant. Despite being one of the fattest during the screening with over 50 aspiring beauty queens, I got in and joined 31 other beautiful women!

That made me realize, the pageant still stands for its tagline:

“She’s more than just a beautiful face.”

They saw something in me --- something more than just my fat body. (Not really fat in the real world but fat in the beauty pageant world)

If they believed in me that much, why shouldn’t I believe in myself?

The pageant made an impact in my life. I have developed significant insights that could help a lot of women about aspiring to be beautiful.

1.     A BEAUTIFUL BODY IS NOT ABOUT THE NUMBERS.

It’s about proportions. You may be stick thin but if you don’t have the curves, it’s not really that sexy. I suggest you ask your guy friends. They will agree with me on this one. A lot of candidates envy the girls who had great proportions, not the ones who resemble a twig. It was actually a surprise to know this.

Before joining the pageant, I wanted to have a space between my legs, bones sticking out of my body and a face like the cryptkeeper and I think that I share the same aspirations with a lot of women --- to become thin. Not sexy. Thin.

During the pageant, my body wasn’t really the envious kind (it was far from it actually) but I learned to love it. I had the biggest hips among all candidates and my thighs were really big but I learned how to project it on stage without looking like a hippo.

I guess it wasn’t really about the numbers. It wasn't much on how you weigh or your vital statistics. It was about proportions and most especially how you work your body.

2.     FINDING YOUR EDGE

Surrounded by 31 beautiful women, I asked myself, what’ll make me stand out? Well, aside from my gigantic hips, I found another one --- my habit of breaking stereotypes.

I had this thing since birth to challenge the norms and change the landscape of the things that I involve myself into. In this case, I did something that was far from the norms of a beauty pageant.

I danced hiphop --- in a masculine manner.

(Here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151346250899719&set=vb.217131458335574&type=2&theater )

I seriously moved like a boy and the dance was on-the-spot because I didn't have time to practice. That was my talent. Why would I force myself to sing or dance something I’m not comfortable with? It was my talent, my only talent. Why not show it? I didn’t win best talent but I know that I was a surprise to a lot of people who watched. Something they didn’t expect. Someone they would remember. Someone different.

Even though I didn’t win best talent, two sponsors saw how I tried to change the order of things. I was awarded Woman To Watch by Boardwalk and Miss SM Supermalls by of course, SM Corporation. I think they didn’t base their scoring on my beauty alone. They gave me the award because I was different and I had the guts to be different.

3.     SMILE

I was too consumed on how my body looked like and if my hair was in place or if my make-up was all messed up to the point that I forgot to smile. A lot of people kept saying I needed to smile. I was nervous. I was thinking of a lot of things. You can’t really blame me. I was too insecure about my hips and my body.

But when I saw how my face registered at the camera dressed with a smile, I was shocked. I really had a genuine smile that looked awesome on stage. A lot of people said I had a really great smile (despite my sungki ngipin). To be honest, you wouldn’t really notice how big my hips were.

So I smiled…not like a beauty queen but more like a woman who was enjoying what she was doing.

4.     BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

This is a cliché, I know. Majority of you might think this is bull crap. Believe me when I say this, it’s not.

As I’ve said, I was fat. A lot of people, (even my mom) thought I couldn’t pull it off. A lot kept saying I should’ve joined Bilbiling Mandaluyong instead of Ms. Mandaluyong.

Guess what? I proved them wrong.

From a 36-32-41, I became 35-25-38. It was a drastic change considering the given time frame. I only had a month to lose all the Christmas weight and the fats from eating out because of the boyfriend and the stress at work. I needed to lose a lot of weight.

It was more than just losing weight. I gained confidence. I did not gain confidence just because I got thinner. I was still fat as compared to other candidates. I developed confidence because I made myself better.

Being a candidate was more than enough. I just enjoyed the experience. But I wasn’t expecting anything beyond that. I just believed in myself that I can pull this off. Unexpectedly, I got 2 special awards and was part of the top 13 during the pageant night. I was one of the highest-ranking candidates during the pre-pageant. I was told that I had a big chance of bagging the title. It was a shock to be perfectly honest. I didn’t really expect it. Eventually, I didn’t win any of the prestigious titles but it was way more than what I was expecting.

5.     BE MORE THAN JUST A BEAUTIFUL FACE

The main question: Why did I join Ms. Mandaluyong?

It wasn’t because I had a beautiful face. It wasn’t because of the fame or the fortune.  (Although 200,000 Php is not a bad cash prize) It wasn’t for vanity’s sake.

To be honest, I joined because I had to make a statement --- because I believe that women should strive to become more than just a beautiful face.

I guess I saw this as an opportunity to advocate women empowerment. I kept on advocating through writing about knowing your worth as a woman. It was time that I put my writing into action. And so I did.

_____________________________________________

So how do you become more than just a beautiful face?

Physical beauty is a matter of perception. You cannot convince everyone that you are beautiful even if you won the genetic lottery like the Victoria’s Secret models. Some people still call them fat or ugly --- believe me.

What will help you survive not only in pageants but life in general is to look beyond your physical looks.

Be yourself…but better.

I lost the pageant? Yes. Someone was better than I was based from the judges’ point of view and the winner truly deserved the crown. She was trained to bag it. I wasn’t.

I still had a lot to learn.

Losing the pageant made me find something unexpected --- myself.

My true self and what I stand for.

And of course, new beautiful friends to share the experience with.

Word of advice?

Break your own stereotypes. Challenge your own norms. Exceed your own expectations. Surpass your own standards.

Because the only person who’s stopping you from doing these things…

IS YOU.

(Credits to Emerson Cebanico for the photos: http://emerzex.blogspot.com/2013/02/miss-mandaluyong-2013-coronation-night.html )

THE UN-DATE-ABLE DICKS

This is just pure common sense but unfortunately, a lot of women (even smart ones) are dumbfounded with the dating scene. This is just to remind your brains to become fully-functional again after the heart has dominated it. I’m not telling you who to fall in love with. I’m just telling you who you should avoid.

1.     MARRIAGE-GO-ROUND

For sex, money or love, there is no excuse to date someone who’s either directly or indirectly involved with a spouse, those who are technically married or not. Love knows no technicality. And this includes guys with girlfriends and those who claim that they are separated from their wives.

Girls are emotional wrecks by nature when it comes to love. Would you want your crazy hormones to kick it up a notch by falling in love with those who are involved with other people? If you want that kind of drama, then feel free to do so. And I’ll personally welcome you in the mental health facility. (I live near that place anyways so no worries)

2.     CHEAT MEATS

Girls are insecure in a lot of ways. And winning the man from his current girlfriend and gaining the idea that he chose you over her gives you a little boost in the self-esteem department. Not all guys cheat. But some make it a habit. This applies to all guys who cheated with his girlfriend whether he cheated for you or not. He still has the capacity to do so.

You might be thinking that he might not do it again. More like hoping, I guess. But that doesn’t assure you he won’t do it again. You have more reasons to believe he will. But hey! If you’re willing to take the risks involved? Why not? It’s your heart. Not mine. Go date him to death! I’m just here indirectly looking out for you.

3.     BAGGAGE COUNTER

Still whining about his ex? How bitchy she is? How dumb and profoundly crazy she has become? That’s not good. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not over his ex --- not always, I think. It just means he’s not yet ready for another heartbreak. If he’s still whining, give him time or make him realize that it’s not worth his energy anymore. I mean, if you really like the guy. But if he’s just another dude who went back to the dating scene just because he broke up with his ex, might as well give him the boot.

4.     EX OF A FRIEND

This is still part of the unwritten guidelines of the girl code, right? Well, live it. It’s not technically a sin to God but it is to a friend. Imagine how awkward it is to introduce the guy you’re dating to the same circle of your friends as his ex? Too much drama. Whether or not she officially gave you permission to recycle her used goods, it’s still unethical to pursue him. Why would you go for him anyway? You have a lot of choices. Explore it.

5.     FRIEND OF AN EX

Guys love basketball. They pass around a single ball and then gets praised if he scores.  Girls don’t want to be like that ball. We don’t want to seem like we’re being passed around like some hoe in an orgy party. Avoid dating the friends of your ex. It looks so desperate. You are only allowed to date one person in each team. Not everyone ---even down to the waterboy.

6.     EX

What’s the reason you broke up?

Exactly. That’s the reason why you should not date him again. If he constantly claims he has changed, let him prove it. Or if he wants you back despite what you’ve done, what took him so long to take you back? Just leave it in the past, woman!

Trust me. You have options.

7.     BAD NEWS

Girls have this thing for bad boys. We have this fantasy of magically converting him into a saint. The idea that he will change because of you --- that’s the idea that consumes most women. That’s why we prefer the bad ones over the naturally good ones. If he can genuinely change, try it. But there’s this kind of bad boy that you might be too embarrassed to even introduce to your closest friends or even to your imaginary friend.  That’s the kind you should avoid. If you can’t see him as someone you’ll be walking down the aisle with, what’s the point of dating him?

8.     REMOTE CONTROL

If you’re the kind of girl who likes to be in handcuffs all your life (not in a kinky way), this kind of guy might be in your league. Personally, I don’t like being told what to do especially by the guy I’m dating. He can influence you but he cannot dictate what you need to wear, eat or even the amount of air you can breathe in. If he’s doing this to you right now, give it a second thought before officially making him your boyfriend. Besides, if he wants to change you to a different girl, make him date the girl he’s changing you into.

When you’ve observed the following aspects, RUN! Or stride in your red stiletto. Whatever you need to do to get out of the situation with your dignity and identity intact, DO IT.

In the dating scene, remember who you are and who you want to become. With that in mind, choose men accordingly. Choose someone who can make you better.

Not someone who’s just there.

Love and Advertising

Sa mga hindi nakakaalam...


ako po ay isang kupal na manunulat sa isang creative agency.


Trabaho kong magsulat.


(Wow! As if hindi niyo alam na 'yun ang trabaho ng manunulat)


Bilang isang trabahador sa isang creative agency, gumagawa kami ng mga advertising collaterals and all that stuff.


Lahat ng kailangan ng creativity, who you gonna call?


Syempre kami.


At sa mundo ng advertising, kailangan lagi kang alerto sa uso at sa mga nagpapa-uso. Dapat lagi kang may idea.

Kaya ngayon, dahil nagkaroon ako ng idea para sa isang blog entry habang ako ay nagkikiskis ng libag sa banyo, agad agad akong lumabas at nagsulat sa blog kong wala namang nagbabasa.


Isa itong AHA moment! Kaya ngayon ay isasalaysay ko sa inyo ang hubad na katotohanan sa advertising business.


Anong mayroon sa nakakagimbal na mundo ng Advertising?



Simple lang.






Para itong pag-ibig.










Sa una, ipapakita sayo ang benefits at ang angking awesomeness ng isang produkto o serbisyo. Syempre para makabenta.


Tapos mag-iinquire ka, konting research... and HUWALA!



Napabili ka!


O tapos? Pagkakuha mo...


it's not as good as what they said it should be.


Sinet ng masyadong mataas yung expectations mo.


Ito ang pinanghahawakan kong prinsipyo sa aking trabaho. Don't set your consumer's expectations too high. Kasi ma-lolose mo yung brand loyalty once na na-disappoint sila.


Parang pag-ibig 'no?


Sa pagbabasa ko ng mga trend reports and all that bullshit...


Bago na ang mga tao ngayon compared sa nakasanayan.


Hindi na sila umaasa sa konting research.


We have a different world already.


In love and advertising,


We base everything we buy and believe in on other people's recommendations.


We rely on what other people say about the product... or the guy.


Believe it or not, affected ka sa mga sinasabi na negative about sa crush mo or sa boyfriend mo. Kasi akala mo nung una perfect siya e. Inadvertise niya sarili niya sayo ng bonggang bongga e.


Pero once na may bad experience ang ibang tao sa kanya at nasabihan ka...


it will never be the same. You might go back but you'll have doubts of staying with the guy.



Love is not far from the advertising business.


In fact, love itself is advertising.


Everyone sees it as a fairytale but when you have it... it's far from what you've expected.

Lucky

Ang sabi ko sa sarili ko noon...

"Kung sino man magpapatibok ng namatay kong puso, I'll make sure he'll be the luckiest man alive."


So I did my best to be the best version of myself. Not for the sake of finding that particular guy pero it's more like loving yourself first before loving another.


I made the effort to be pretty, I work my ass off not for the money but for the fulfillment, and I gained a vast network of friends.


Tapos narealize ko, well...


Do I really need a guy?

I was genuinely happy being single. I was enjoying it. Kinda living the life.

E may sumira ng plano ko?


Hayup.


Kaya ayan.


May boyfriend na ako.


And the more I make him one of the luckiest man alive...


the more I realize na it's actually the other way around.


I'm the lucky one.


I found someone who knows my worth and takes care of me. Someone who doesn't take advantage of the money, the body and the so-called fame.



I found someone who truly deserves what I've worked hard for.

Real Beginning

Tayong mga kababaihan, hilig na natin maniwala sa mga happily ever after bullshit. Yung maghintay sa prince charming at ngumanga. Yung humiling sa isang perfect love story.

E kaso ilang taon ka na naka-nganga dinapuan ka na ng langaw… wala pa din. Magkaroon man ng love life, nakakastress naman. Hindi yung ineexpect mong love story ng fairy tale mo. Puro away, gaguhan, sakitan, sampalan, sabunutan, liyaban ng bahay.. etc.

Pwes, sorry for the buzzkill pero fairytales are known as such because they’re like fairies. 

They don’t exist.

Karamihan ng mga chick flicks na pinapanood natin ay mayroong happy ending. After magsinungaling ni girl kay guy, keme lang. Sila pa rin magkakatuluyan. Or after paglaruan ni guy si girl, keme lang ulit! Mabenta ang happy endings na story line e.

But what goes after the happy ending? Is it really the end?

No one has a happy ending. Well, that’s what I heard.

Siguro happy ending kasi dun na nag-end ang happiness?

Nah.

I guess there’s no such thing as a happy ending.

Kasi kung masaya ‘yan, you wouldn’t want it to end, right?

Women long for happy endings.

I, on the other hand, want a happy beginning…and a rollercoaster in-betweens. May happy, may sad, may nakakaloka, may nakaka-bakla.

I’m not expecting for a perfect relationship.

Not even a happy one.

I just want to be with someone who would make things better… even if things aren’t going as planned.

I want a relationship who wouldn’t give me a fairytale ending…

but a real beginning.

And luckily, I found one. Well, we found each other.

This is Pat.

He’s crazy. He’s quiet and sometimes a little shy. He picks his nose using my finger. He has the most awful fart smell. He’s a little bit clingy at nauubusan na siya ng buhok at the age of 21…

But I love him. I really do.

And to be perfectly honest, I haven’t been this in love with a guy before. (or even a girl)

And he gave me a real beginning.

He’s not promising me a happy ending because he’s trying his best not to make the happiness end.

One word that can sum up my relationship with Pat?

(Kita pa lola vibes kong bra strap)

BETTER.

Everything just seems better. Not perfect --- but better.

Yung tipong kahit anong problema, I can talk to him. Kahit anong kalokohan, I could do it with him. Kahit anong mood swings ko, he would try to understand where I’m coming from. He might not be perfect for you other girls…

But he just made my life better.

I thought my life was perfectly fine. I thought I had it all. A career I love, a family that cares, friends that I can rely on, acquaintances I can party and hang out with, etc. I was actually living the life.

Natanggap ko na nga na tatanda akong papakasalan ko trabaho ko at mga raket ko sa buhay e. May blessing na rin actually ng nanay ko yung kagagahan kong wag na magpakasal. May plano na rin nga akong magpabuntis sa bading kong kaibigan after 7 years tapos kami magiging coolest parents ever!

Then I met him.

And the life I thought was worth living…

Just got even better.